


Carolina Boys

by hpd_lance



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, i am a piece of shit that's why, i don't know why i do these things honestly, why am i not finishing my other fics?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-27
Updated: 2015-04-08
Packaged: 2018-03-19 21:49:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3625467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hpd_lance/pseuds/hpd_lance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John comes to visit Karkat all the way from Seattle<br/>Karkat lives in a small town in South Carolina, away from most of his online friends. Mostly this is just because I needed the fluff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cheerwine and Car Games

**Author's Note:**

> why am I writing a new fic???

Karkat wasn't sure how to feel about meeting his best online friend. He was excited, sure, but he was also nervous and upset.  
He was upset because he'd told John _not_ to spend all his money on a plane ticket to visit him. John really deserved a punch in the face and a kiss on the mouth. Karkat stood in the airport anxiously, unsure of what he should be doing. His dad held a piece of paper that read "Egbert", and Karkat was nervously chewing at his bottom lip, shifting his weight from foot to foot, trying not to look too excited. He was just about to sit down when a guy, -a really tall, _attractive_ guy- walked up, blue eyes shining, mouth slightly open because of buck teeth and an overbite. Surely, this was the wrong guy. Egbert was not supposed to be attractive.  
"Um, hi. I'm John. John Egbert," He said, gesturing to the paper in crabdad's hands. "Are you Mr. Vantas?"  
Karkat's dad nodded, and John grinned, looking over at Karkat. He was easily two feet taller than him. _Fuck you and your height, Egbert._ Karkat thought, looking up at John.  
Without warning, John threw his arms around Karkat, wrapping him in a bear hug and practically picking him up. "Hey man! Wow, Terezi was right, you are adorable." John stopped hugging him. "What was the word she used? Adorabloodthirsty? Yep. Perfect description."  
"I see you're still weird as ever in real life." Karkat scrunched up his nose, crossing his arms.  
John laughed. _Wow, uh, error code 404, that was too beautiful, system malfunction._ Karkat was surprised at how utterly _perfect_ John's laugh was. It was almost angelic.  
John wrapped his arm around Karkat's shoulder, "You're too adorable, Karkat. Let me protect you from all the bad in the world."  
Karkat could feel the blush heating up his face. _Damn it John._ "Oh fuck me." _Oops, was that out loud?_  
Hopefully crabdad hadn't heard what he said. Shit.  
He could have sworn he just heard John say, "Gladly." But it had to have been his imagination, because John wasn't talking at all. He was picking up his suitcase. Yeah, John probably hadn't said anything. _But still... no. No no no. Bad Karkat._ Crabdad led the way out to the car, not saying anything. Karkat was nervous about riding in the car with John. It wasn't a very big car, and the front passenger seat belt was broken, so they'd both have to ride in the back seat. John dropped his suitcase in the trunk, and slid into the back seat next to Karkat.  
Karkat had grabbed his phone and put his earbuds in his ears, and was about to play some music.  
"What're you listening to?" John asked.  
Karkat just pulled an earbud out of his ear and handed it to John, who shrugged and put the earphone in his ear. _Thnks Fr Th Mmrs_ by Fall Out Boy was playing. John snickered, "Fall Out Boy?" He asked, smirking.  
"Gotta love 'em." Karkat replied, unlocking his phone. He swiped through his apps out of sheer boredom. He opened up Flappy Bird, because what other games do you actually need, and immediately John snatched his phone from his hands. "I have to beat your high score. I must."  
"John--"  
"Nono shoosh!" John covered Karkat's mouth with his hand, tapping the screen with his other hand. The bird hit a pipe. "Damn. I hate that game. It's so pointless, yet so fun."

_ONE NIGHT AND ONE MORE TIME_

_THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES EVEN THOUGH THEY WEREN'T SO GREAT_

The music blasted into their ears, and the both of them flinched, hitting their heads on the car roof. Karkat skipped that song and turned the volume down. The song that came on next made him turn it back up again.

_Love me cancerously~_

John's eyes widened. "My. Jam." He said, turning it up as much as he could. Karkat had to resist the urge to sing along loudly. He couldn't sing along with his dad in the car. He could not. He'd told John in advance about not singing along to music while his dad was in the car. His dad didn't like music as much as he did. Karkat thought his dad was probably just tired of hearing him play his guitar all the time. He had a keyboard, but he didn't play piano much. His dad had played in a band once, which struck him as ironic, given how much he complained when Karkat played his music too loud.  
"I really want to sing along this is causing physical pain." John whispered, and Karkat couldn't help but laugh a bit.  
"I know right." He said, pausing the music and pulling the earbuds out of their ears.  
"So how long until we get to your place?" John asked, resting his elbow on Karkat's shoulder.  
"About an hour. It's not too bad if we play that alphabet game where you find billboards and signs for stores and stuff that starts with the letters of the alphabet, you know that one? My friend in kindergarten used to play it all the time. Anyway, start with 'A' then-- I don't have to teach you the 'abc's again, right?" Karkat replied, and John sniggered.  
"Okay. 'A'... Adult Superstore." He said, sticking his tongue out playfully.  
"Oh my god John. Fine, 'B'..... Baskin Robbins." Karkat said, rolling his eyes.  
"'C'.... hmmmm... Cracker Barrel? I don't think I've eaten there before." John said, pointing at a billboard on their left.  
"Oh, there's one in town when we get home, you'll have to eat there while you're here. 'D'... Dunkin Donuts." Karkat said.  
"Sounds cool. Wait what's Cheerwine?" John asked, staring at a large truck with a Cheerwine advertisement on it.  
"Cheerwine is a kind of soda. Don't you have Cheerwine in Seattle?"  
"Not that I've ever seen. Is it good?"  
"It is the only acceptable soda other than Coca Cola and Dr. Pepper. Are you going to do 'E' or not?" Karkat had just seen a sign for Eastern Buffet, a good turn wasted.  
"Oh right. 'E'..... does that Eastern Buffet sign that we passed a minute ago count?"  
"Yeah. 'F' Fatz Cafe."  
"'G' Galapagos Tortises. Does that count?"  
"Where did you see that?"  
"That sign for Riverbanks Zoo that we just passed. It said something about Galapagos Tortises."  
"I guess that counts then. 'H'--"  
"Hooters."  
"John it was my turn."  
"'H' is for Hooters, Karkat."  
Karkat just shook his head and rolled his eyes. His dad was frowning in the front seat. He never really said anything during car rides. Weird.  
"Fine, but I get 'I'. Intensive Care Unit. That's legitimately on that billboard."  
"'J'.. John!"  
"Okay then, 'K' Karkat."  
"'L' Lizard's Thicket."  
"'M' McDonalds."  
"'N' Nathan's Hot Dogs."  
"'O' Oranges."  
"What? Oh well, 'P' Party City."  
"'Q'.... can we just skip this one?"  
"Yeah. 'R'... you know what, I'm tired of that game. We'll be home in half an hour, we can play something less childish."  
"I spy?"  
"I spy."


	2. Ice Cream and Board Games

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well then I guess I'll just finish this one asap

They made it home, and the moment they got inside, Karkat dragged John into his room. "This is where you'll be staying! I have an air matress right there that we just need to inflate and then you can sleep on it. I have a keyboard in my closet for some reason, and the closet is kind of tiny, and the water heater is right next to my room but who even cares." Karkat waved out of the door in the direction of the bathroom, "The bathroom is across the hall, dad's room is right next to mine, then the game room is next to the bathroom, and this closet at the end of the hall has no real purpose other than to stub your toe on in the middle of the night." John just kind of followed Karkat around. Karkat walked back to his own closet, opening the door. He grabbed the keyboard and it's stand and cord, handing them to John. He then grabbed his guitar by it's neck and leaned it against the wall. "There's board games up there that I can't reach without standing on a chair, but I bet you could get them. Anyway, there's that keyboard in case you want to play me something, and I have sheet music in a box around here somewhere..."  
"Whoa, dude, calm down." John said, laughing a little. "I thought your dad didn't like you to play music?"  
"I managed to nearly soundproof my room, observe the carpeted floors and padded walls. Having trouble soundproofing the door though." Karkat replied, shrugging.  
"Your room is soundproof?"  
"Nearly."  
"Hmm..."  
Karkat wasn't sure what John was thinking, but whatever it was, it was probably something to do with a prank. "Yeah. Anyway. No pranks, alright?"  
"Alright. I wasn't planning any pranks."  
Karkat pursed his lips. _Like hell you weren't planning any pranks,_ He thought, _Knowing you, you've planned four hundred thirteen by now. Pft, I referenced your birthday._  
Of course John couldn't hear that, but Karkat didn't care. He sat down on the floor, crossing his legs and leaning against the wall. "Grab those board games, will you? I need to beat you at Monopoly."  
John laughed, rolling his eyes. He grabbed the game from the shelf, setting it on the floor across from Karkat.   
"Loser buys ice cream. The good kind. Deal?"  
"Deal."  
They shook on it. John's hand was warm and nice, thought Karkat.  
Karkat unpacked the box, "So who's banker?" He asked, grabbing the little scotty dog.  
"You. I can't handle the responsibility involved."  
"Alright. I get the tin dog."  
"I'll take the hat I guess."  
Karkat shuffled the chance and community chest decks, then handed John his "money".

Long story short, John won, and Karkat was out ten bucks after making a trip to Marble Slab. It was totally worth it. John shared his ice cream, which was actually really good, and it being June, the ice cream was a nice treat.  
After they finished their ice cream, they sat on a bench in the park. "So since we're in town, wanna go bowling? Or there's the theater, we could see what's playing. I'd suggest the mall, but most of the stores have closed. I mean, Bath & Body works is nice and Books A Million has plenty of books and shit, but other than that there's not really much to do."  
"Are there any cool landmarks nearby?"  
"Well downtown there's a bunch of horse statues painted all sorts of different ways. So no, not really."  
"What kind of stores are there around here? Oh my gosh, can I try that Cheerwine stuff now?"  
"Oh, yeah! Sure. The gas station on the corner over there should have some. The stuff's addictive. Do you normally drink sweet tea?"  
John shool his head, "I don't usually drink tea."  
"Dear god, John! How do you survive?! You're trying some sweet tea from McDonalds, and Cheerwine, and have you had chicken and waffles?"  
John looked at Karkat as if he were insane, "Chicken and waffles? Sounds disgusting."  
"BLASPHEMY! Fried chicken with waffles is amazing and you are going to try it as soon as we get home. Actually, Cracker Barrel has everything I'm planning on making you try. I know where we're going, come on." Karkat grabbed John's hand, walking off in the direction of Cracker Barrel. "Come on, we have to get there before the dinner rush. Traffic gets really bad on Whiskey Road after school gets out."  
"Whiskey Road?"  
"The main street in this town. It's called that because there used to always be whiskey bottles on the sides of the road. A guy told me that a women's comittee or something from somewhere had petitioned for it to be changed while they were here, and they ended up changing the name of the road, but then they changed it back to Whiskey after the comittee left and then when the comittee came back they petitioned for the road name to be changed again, and they changed it, but then just changed it back again and the comittee just said 'fuck it' and left them alone about it." Karkat replied, dragging John behind him. They passed Walmart and some joggers were giving them odd looks as Karkat pulled John along behind him.  
"That's pretty cool, actually."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Figured out what town they're in yet?
> 
> give you a hint: it rhymes with bacon  
> another hint: it's my hometown  
> last hint: it's Aiken  
> Aiken, SC
> 
> nice town


	3. Biscuits and Jelly Beans

They made it in just before the dinner rush, and were seated as the people started coming in.  
Their server's name was Tiffany, and she was really nice. Karkat made John get sweet tea and fried chicken with waffles, then he ordered his own food.  
"Stay right here, I'll be right back." Karkat told John. John sat at the table, playing that weird peg game that was sitting on the table. He kept getting three left. He didn't want to be 'Just plain dumb', damn it! He glared at the peg game until he just gave up and the waitress showed up with their drinks and a plate full of biscuits and cornbread.  
"Thanks." He said.  
Karkat came back, holding a brown paper bag in one hand and a glass bottle of soda in the other. He handed John the soda, which John noticed was Cheerwine, and opened up the paper bag, grabbing a bag of oddly-flavored jelly beans that John had never even known existed.  
 _Pancake and maple syrup flavor? What the actual fuck._ John thought as Karkat tossed a few jelly beans into his mouth.  
Karkat scrunched his nose at the cornbread, opting instead for a biscuit. He cut it open and put butter and sugar on it, which John thought was weird. _You're not supposed to put sugar on biscuits, it's just not natural! Jelly? Sure. Sugar? NO WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!_ John thought, frowning in confusion. "Wha... what are you doing to that poor biscuit?? Why are you putting sugar on it?! What do they teach you here in the south?!?"   
"It's good! Taste before you judge, Egbert." Karkat said, taking a bite out of his biscuit, then holding it out to John.  
John hesitantly took a bite. It was actually not that bad. "Huh." He said, taking another bite.  
"Get your own biscuit." Karkat said, snatching his biscuit away from John and taking a bite.  
"No, give me that."  
"No! Mine."  
"Damn it Karkat, give me the biscuit."  
The waitress had apparently showed up with their food. She smiled politely and placed the food on the table, asking if they needed anything else before walking off to the kitchen.  
John had managed to wrestle the biscuit away from Karkat and was munching happily on his prize.  
Karkat glared at him, lips pursed.  
 _Glare all you want, I've got the biscuit and there's nothing you can do about it._ John thought smugly, his face matching his thoughts.  
"Wipe that smug expression off your face or I'll do it for you."  
John raised an eyebrow, taking another bite of the biscuit.  
Karkat's eyes narrowed. "When we get home I am going to kill you."  
"Over a biscuit? Wow, you southerners sure are passionate about food. I'll bake you a cake if it makes you feel any better."  
"John no. No cakes."  
"But what am I going to do with the twenty boxes of cake mix I brought?"  
Karkat nearly spat out his drink.  
"Relax Karkat, I'm only kidding! I only brought twelve."  
"John I swear to-"  
"I didn't bring any cake, gosh!" John stuck his tongue out playfully, taking a bite of his chicken and waffles.  
Karkat rolled his eyes, crossing his arms.  
John had won this round.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> really short chapter bc I need to update _something_

Back home and in Karkat's room, John and Karkat lay on the floor _The Fault In Our Stars_ movie poster style. At least Karkat thought it was like that. Give him a pixie cut and call him Hazel Grace, maybe he'd actually get his love story.

Of course, knowing the ending of _that_ , he wasn't so sure he wanted that love story.  
"So what are we doing?" John asked, staring up at the ceiling.  
"We're being weird. Actually, I'm being weird, you're just being you."  
John laughed, "Karkat, honestly, you're hilariously funny and adorable."  
This earned John a slap upside the head and a grumbled "I am not adorable, you obtuse shitmuffin."  
John sighed, and turned to look at Karkat. "Do you wanna watch a movie?" He did not just- "Come on let's go hit play."  
"Dear god-"  
"We never watch things anymore, go out the door, there's time left in the day!"  
"John please stop singing this dreadful song-"  
"I thought we were best buddies, but I guess we're not, I wish I knew just why?"  
"John-"  
"Do you wanna watch a movie? It doesn't have to be a movie!"  
"John Egbert I will skin you alive."  
"Aww, Karkat! Don't be like that." John said, propping himself up on his elbow.  
"Egbert, please don't sing anything from that atrocity of a movie in my presence. As much as I love you, I don't think I could keep myself from killing you."  
"I think you need to-"  
"If you say 'let it go' I will rip your throat out."

**Author's Note:**

> because I'm a little shit is why


End file.
